TMI 67 Where I am going

Well, what am I going to do now?

I am 45 years old.

I have been married too many times to men I ended up supporting both emotionally and financially. I have grown sons and a 7 year old. The 7 year old takes 100% of my non-working life.

Financially, I am starting over. I own my own home, in my name only. This is the 4th house I have purchased all by myself. My car is finally paid for so I have a house payment and utilities and food. I had to file bankruptcy to be able to cover those bills.

I need a job that pays more and that has a bit more security. I live in fear that my job will be exported to Mexico. It is hard to compete with that cheap labor.

I love my job in many ways though. I am able to work from home when Noah is off most of the time. Summers are too long to try that but all other holidays seems to be a go. I hold my department together. I love what I do and I am very very good at it. I really need more money though. I am barely making it. The problem is that the higher paying jobs require more of my time and give less flexibility on work hours and etc. Many require overnight travel and as a single Mom, that is difficult.

I would love to find someone to walk beside me thru life. I have pretty much given up on that happening though. I can live with that, it is just a really lonely feeling. All in all though, it beats carrying someone else all the time.