Monday, January 09, 2006

TMI 54 The Wedding

We got married on July 3, 2003. I cried during the ceremony. It wasn't because I was so happy but because I was so afraid. I REALLY wanted this to work. I wasn't in love with him really but on a certain level, I did love him. I needed to not be alone in the world. He stayed 4 days and went home to Texas. I spent the next two weeks waiting for him to fly out again.

When he would come out, things would be great. We would go places and talk and spend time together. We had fun.

Noah wasn't impressed. His time as the sole focal point in my life was gone. He was angry and even more depressed than before. He liked Jim but he was jealous and felt left out. I did everything I could to make him feel a part of it all. It wasn't working.

I ask my boss to let me move back to Texas. My house still hadn't sold and was vacant again. I was bleeding money. Jim was not much help. He had his own business but it was only barely paying his bills. My boss said no to me moving back. I started job hunting in Texas again. I wanted to go home.

In the meantime, Dennis now had a release date from prison. I felt ill.

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