Saturday, October 01, 2005

On Possums


This is a long story but pretty funny as I think back on it.

Background
I live in a suburb of Dallas. It is a very urban area and have about an acre yard in a subdivison where most yards are less than a quarter of an acre. I have 3 dogs and 2 cats and an assortment of fish. I am a single mom with a 7 year old son. Since I have 3 dogs and 2 cats and have to work outside the home to support said animals and son and myself, I have a doggie door installed in my back door. It leads to the backyard that is enclosed with an 8 ft wooden fence. I also have a diving pool that is enclosed with a what I call a 6 ft cyclone fence. That is to keep out kids and dogs and leaves to some extent. I have 2 sheds in the back yard. One is made of tin/aluminum and the other is home built out of plywood and was erected by a previous owner of the home. That one is in bad shape but I haven't had the time (or energy to go out and tear it down.)

The Beginning
One night in June, I went to lock the back door before going to bed and found my largest dog, Merlin (Golden Retriever Mix), acting guilty and trying to cover something he was chewing on with his body. I made him move so I could see what it was and I jumped back about 4 feet when I saw it was a dead animal with very large teeth. It's fur was gone and it's teeth were exposed and they were HUGE. At first, I thought it was a rat because it had a long hairless rat like tail but on closer inspection I determined it was in fact an adolescent possum. I was trying to figure out how to get the damn thing out of the house and dispose of it so the dog wouldn't just bring it back in while I wasn't looking. I finally settled on getting the large long handled dustpan that I use as a pooper scooper and a rake and scooped it up and dumped it into a Walmart bag and tied it up good and put it in my trash can that was dog proof. I yelled at the dog but he was still looking pretty pleased with himself. I made him go into the bedroom with me and didn't think much about it beyond having a good story to tell at work the next day.

About a week later, I am coming home around 9PM from having spent the evening with the neighbors and their kids at Chuck E Cheese (so you know what kind of evening I was having) We pulled up out front only to see an animal eating the catfood I had out. I have a cat that I have that refuses to come in the house because he doesn't like the dogs. The cat was just sitting there watching the animal and my son and I managed to get with in about 10 feet before it scurried off into my Azaleas. We peeked in and could see a possum about the size of a small adult cat. It was kinda cute and looked pretty harmless. UGLY teeth though.

So that night, I wake up about 2AM to go to the bathroom. I go without turning on a light and on the way back to bed, I step on something cold and wet. I am groggily thinking great, one of the dogs has barfed and now I get to clean it up in the middle of the night. I reach over and flip on the light and what do I see??? Another dead possum!! I stepped on a dead possum barefoot!! For the first time in my life I wished the dogs had just barfed on the carpet. This one was also furless and pretty much a bloody mess and really ugly. The golden retriever was hiding in the closet at this point because he heard me yell when I flipped on the light. I am pretty sure I was cussing him pretty good too at that point. So, first I thoroughly scrubbed the offended foot and then I went thru the pooper scooper Walmart bag routine again. As an added precaution, I closed off the doggie door.

I pretty much kept the doggie door closed at night for the next 2 weeks. No sign of any critters so after 2 weeks I got lax about closing it off at night. So, I am leaving it open again and I get up in the middle of the night to take the puppy out (she won't go out at night by herself.). I flip on the light in the family room (where the backdoor with the doggie door is) and DAMN IF THERE ISN'T ANOTHER DEAD POSSUM. Again, I go thru the pooper scooper Walmart bag routine and again say a few choice words to Merlin. I again started shutting the doggie door but figured that I couldn't have anymore in the area because I had ALREADY HAD 3.

So, life goes on as normal. I get up one morning and am running late for work. I had borrowed a computer monitor from a lady from work and needed to return it. So, I rushed into the family room to get it and put it in the car and I am sure you can guess what I found. Yes another possum! At this point, I was more pissed off at the dog than anything. I really needed to get to work. But, I couldn't leave a possum in the house. I was trying to keep my 7 year old from seeing it. So of course, he dashed into the family room once he found out there was a possum in there. "I just want to see it" he said. Well, I am thoroughly pissed off and am trying to get the kid and the dogs out of the way and get the stupid thing cleaned up. I go outside and the the rake and scooper and my son is kinda hovering over it and saying look Mom isn't it cute. See this one still had it's fur and except for a little blood looked pretty much uninjured. I reach down with the rake and the scooper and begin to scoop it when IT MOVES!!! I think it is safe to say I jumped about 10 feet this time. Now, my son is saying things like "Mom we have to help it" and "Mom, can I keep it as a pet." I am thinking I am really going to be late to work and I may kill the dog before I go. The possum stays rolled up in a ball. I go back and scoop it into the scooper. It is now playing dead. I am trying to figure out what to do with it because if I just put it in the yard like it is, it will get killed by the dog and probably end up back in the house. There is no way I am going to try to put a live possum in a Walmart bag. I ended up putting it on the other side of the fence (still in the yard, but over by the old shed) and leaving it in the scooper. I was figuring that if I came home and it was still in the scooper, it would be easier to dispose of already scooped. If I came home and it was gone, then it was not severely injured and would hopefully have learned it's lesson about venturing into a yard with dogs.

I am a little leary on the way home, I really don't want to deal with it anymore and to my luck, it is gone from the scooper. I suspect it crawled under the old shed and made a getaway at some point. I don't really know. It was however the last possum in the house (Thank God!)

3 comments:

Simon Kenton said...

A learned friend from Louisiana informs me that what you do is trap the possum and feed it sweet potatoes for a week before eating it. This clears them right up, or out, or whatever the operative term is for possum purgatives. It sounds to me like the best use of sweet potatoes I ever heard of. So honey, you just feed up one of them possums with sweet potatoes, eat him, and let us know how it went. Hear?

Good story. I would be re-examining my relationship with the dog.

Condoleesa said...

I love the dog something awful. He keeps me safe. I am not sure he was bringing them in. They may have been coming in after catfood on their own thru the doggie door.

Kathleen... said...

Y-U-C-K!!!! I'm not sure I can get past the bare-foot-in-the-dead-possum-remains part of the story.......oh, man........[shudder]....