I entered the Army as a 2LT in 1983. My first Company Comander was a guy that had been a Special Forces Medic and had gone thru Bootstrap (a program back then that essentially paid enlisted folks to go to college and get a degree so they were eligible for Officer Candidate School)
He was an outstanding Commander and taught me just about everything I ever knew about the Army. He was strong and smart and charismatic and still is. If I ever had to go to war, I would want it to be with him.
I got out of the Army as soon as they started letting people after the first Gulf War was over. My husband at the time had gone and I was on a filler list to go and my ex and my sister were both scheduled to deploy shortly before it ended. At the time, I had 2 young sons and not a really good person to leave them with and I decided right then and there that I wouldn't put them in the position of maybe being parentless again. I got out in May of 1991. I had stayed in touch with my first Company Commander and I got him his first civilian job when he got out in 1994 (he retired after 30 years.) In those 30 years on active duty, he didn't spend much time at home. He was deployed more often than being home.
I talk to him about once a week now and back in August, he told me he had been asked to go to Iraq for some type of operation. (He had worked a lot of covert ops so I didn't pry much.) I am curious though because he has been retired for 10 years and I think he must be going in a civilian capacity. He said his wife and grown children were thoroughly upset with him going. They believe we need to be there but they feel he has done his share. At first, I thought they would get over it. I didn't think it was a big deal. In the last week though, I have decided it is terribly selfish of him to go. His wife and kids did the Army time just like he did and now he is retired and damn if he isn't going back and putting them thru the worry again. When I talked to him last week, he said something about what he does when he goes to war. I couldn't but help think he was trying to relive his glory days. He was truly and outstanding soldier and probably still would make an outstanding soldier but he isn't anymore. I wish I could tell him that but I think it would be a mistake. It wouldn't change a thing and would only piss him off. I sure feel sorry for his family though.
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It's a tough call. It sounds as though the service is a calling for him...and there's no denying a calling. I have a friend who is an Episcopal priest, and he sees it as the same thing. Your family makes certain sacrifices in order to support what you do because they understand that it's not about you, it's about something larger than yourself.
~Kurt
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