Suicide attempts - Man is this Morbid

Having been suicidal much of my life, I know something about it.

There are two type of people that attempt suicide.

There are those that are making a cry for help and attention and do not really want to die.

Then there are those of us that REALLY genuinely believe that there has to be something better than this and really want to die and end the pain of existence.

The second category scares the psychiatrists a lot more. I don't fear death. Then again, I don't think suicide is a good thing. I think I am here on this earth to learn something and if I am still alive then I am not done learning it. I don't want anyone in my family or any of my friends to die. Heck, I don't want most people to die. I do understand though being too tired and too heartsick to go on. I think you have to find a reason to make yourself go on even when you feel that way. I found that something. Everyone can't find it.

I don't think suicide is an unforgivable sin. I think it is usually very selfish. I also think God forgives us this sin.

I think it is usually a terrible waste.

I think because I don't fear death or dying, it makes me believe in the death penalty. I think it is a kindness and a way to end their suffering.

I am probably a really sick puppy.

For being such a sick puppy, I manage to do pretty well though.

I am sure anyone reading my journal thinks I am a total nutcase. I am sure I am. But, I am still smarter and more successful and a better parent than 90% of the world.

Just because I am depressed it doesn't mean I am not arrogant.