Am I a Suck Up?

I really worry about that. I don't think I am. I think I am just a person that insists on honesty and integrity in work. That tends to endear me to people above me that are competent. It pisses off the ones that aren't.

I have to admit though. After the layoff, with me being kept and the others let go, I kind feel like I must be a suck up. I didn't consciously suck up. In fact, I went out of my way to me brutally honest with the people that fought to keep me. I am hoping that is why they did. However, I have a tremendous amount of guilt.

I tend to have a problem with tact. I always have and I have been working on it. I still tend to call things as I see them. I think I tend to be very politically perceptive in office situations. Probably because I have been thru some humdingers.

I hate going into work tomorrow either way.

When I was an Army Officer and I had to reprimand or discipline people that worked for me it emotionally and physically devestated me. I hated being the one to enforce rules. I felt more angry that I had been put in the position to have to than angry at the actual offense. That is why I really don't want to be a manager anymore. I don't need the stress.