Anxiety attacks

I was having one earlier but it seems a glass or two of wine has managed to make it go away.

I am often amazed at the difference certain drugs can make when it comes to mood or behavior. I am on antidepressants. Not taking them is a very bad thing. I cry all the time and get suicidal.

My son is on ADD medicine. Him not taking it is a very bad thing.

Alcohol is a drug I know. I know it is addictive. But then so is chocolate and so are many other things. Are we all addicted to water?

I don't think I have an addictive personality. I started smoking cigarettes when I was 17. I smoked off and on for the next 20 or so years. I haven't smoked one now in a while and even though every once in a while I want one. I don't 99% of the time.

I drink off and on. I think I drink more now because of the other antidepressants I take. It is interesting. I can not drink wine just fine. But, I don't sleep then. I can go for days and days without sleep, if I don't drink or take a sleeping pill, if I take my prescribed dosage of the antidepressants. I can't live without sleep. I have tried. After a few days, I get sloppy and start making mistakes and lose my short term memory to some extent. If I do drink wine, I sleep fine and can wake up on time in the morning with no apparent after effects.

I feel guilty for drinking the wine. I don't drink and drive. I don't drink much when my son can see me. I don't let it interfere with my work or anyother aspect of my life.

I can live without the current antidepressant that makes me stay awake for weeks at a time but I do get very very depressed and then sleep ALL THE TIME. Without it, I sleep probably 36 hours out of a 48 hour weekend. I am sure there is a drug that they can give me that will make me sleep while I take the Wellbutrin. But, will it be cheaper and more effective than the wine? Will it have less side effects? I don't know. I just know that injesting chemicals has become a way of life. I quit taking them all at one point and was so depressed that I almost couldn't go on. Now, I manage quite well. Most days that is.